Ultimate springtime golf fitness tips for "real" golfers

By Tim McDonald,
National Golf Editor

For those of you unfortunate enough to live in the North, you must be salivating at the thought of the spring golf season.

Hold on, Tiger. You ain't the man you used to be. You can't just jump up and go straight to the golf course after a long winter of sloth and mold.

Now, you will find any number of charlatans willing to sell you their total golf fitness regimens. These sleazoids always assume you're a golfer interested in a cleaner, healthier way of living and golfing. I've seen you out on the course, and I know that's not the sort of thing you're "into."

So here is my total golf fitness regimen for the "real" golfer:

• For God's sake, you have to strengthen your core! This involves eating really hard food, like jawbreakers. Eat a bag of those and have your neighbor punch you in the gut to see if your core is all it can be.

Options: Month-old fudge, Purina Dog Chow, pine bark.

• You also have to really work your obliques, I mean really work the hell out of them. Here's the perfect exercise for that. Lie flat on your back with knees bent slightly wider than your hips. If you have really fat hips, you're either going to have to really stretch your knees like in a cartoon, like The Elastic Man from India, or just skip this exercise. In fact, if you have really fat hips, just skip playing golf, nobody wants to see you out on the course.

Now, you slim-hipped people reach your hands to the ceiling like you're crying out for the Lord Jesus Christ to spare you from your miserable existence. You can hold light hand-weights, or not. What do I care? Lift your head and chest toward the ceiling and rotate to reach both hands just outside of your fat, right knee. Repeat on the left side. Now, take a breather. Ask Christ for forgiveness.

• Breathing exercises: Breathing properly and deeply is critical, especially for those tense moments on the course when normally you would start crying.
This deep-breathing exercise involves attending your local adult movie house, or calling up one of those sites on your Internet browser. Follow your instincts. It's either that or follow mine, and then you're looking at jail time.
• Horizontal abduction/adduction: I can't give you much help here, because I always get "horizontal" confused with "vertical," and I have no idea what adduction is. Who came up with that word, anyway? It's a stupid word and should be eliminated from the English language, if it's even English.

• Standing hip rotation: Don't do this. It makes you look like a girl.

• Alcohol fitness: How many times have you lost $2 Nassaus because while you were getting hamboned, your playing partners were just holding up that bottle of Jack Black pretending to drink?

Well, no need to waste good liquor. You can still drink and maintain your competitive edge. You just need to build up a tolerance. Stand upright in a dark closet, with a wide stance, and suck it down. Keep drinking until your wife leaves you.

• Aerobics: Ha! Don't make me laugh. This is golf!

• Putting: Don't bother to practice putting. Putting in golf is overrated. I play golf maybe 200 times a year and I've yet to meet anyone who can putt. You either make it or you don't. If you miss, just keep putting until the ball goes in the hole. Simple.

• Seniors: As we age, our bodies react differently, so seniors must prepare for golf differently than young punks. An important thing to remember is that there is an inverse relationship of increased ear hair to laughably short drives off the tee.

So keep those ear hairs trim and neat. If you're proud of your thick mane of ear hair, don't sweat it. If you're short off the tee, you're probably small in other areas, and I think you know what I'm talking about.

• Excuses: A healthy psychological outlook is a must for Better Golf. If you can convince yourself that the snap hook you hit into the weeds over there is not your doing at all, you'll retain the confidence needed to excel in the game.

The first time you smack one of your all-too-typical lousy shots, turn to your playing partner and snarl," "Will you stop that!" Look at him, looking all hurt and everything. Who would have thought golf fitness could be so much fun?

• Torque development in the downswing: This is so important, I can barely contain myself. This is vital to any golfer who has ever wanted to improve his score. You could even say it is absolutely critical in terms of reaching your full potential as a golfer and knowing what it is to be truly human.

• Alignment and posture: Face the target squarely and stand erect, with your rump jutting out slightly. Feels a little silly, doesn't it? Can you think of another situation in life where you would position yourself in such an odd manner? I can't.

K State Men’s Golfers Match Single Season Mark at Missouri

COLUMBIA, Mo. – The Kansas State Wildcats shot the lowest score in the final round and tied a school-record for most top-five finishes in a season with a second place finish at the Missouri Tiger Intercollegiate on Tuesday.

K-State carded a 295 in the final round, shooting 298-293-295—886 (+22) for the tournament, and moved from fifth place to second place over the final 18 holes at The Club at Old Hawthorne. The Wildcats notched their eighth top-five finish and tied the single-season mark held by the 2003-04 team.

“It’s consistency,” K-State head coach Tim Norris said. “Our guys have done a good job of (playing consistently). We’re able to save a few shots here and there and that’s what it comes down to on all these tournaments – you have 880 or so shots for the week and you get up there and one shot is one place and two shots worse is two places worse. All these guys know the value of staying in there and trying to scrape together a score and that’s what it’s been.”

The entire field battled stormy weather conditions on Tuesday and tournament officials even considered ending the event early. The Wildcats entered the final round 15 strokes behind the tournament-leader, Indiana, but cut the lead to five while shooting one of two scores under 300 in the final round. The Hoosiers claimed the team championship with a 294-286-301—881 (+17). Indiana’s Jorge Campillo earned the individual crown with a 72-66-74—212 (-4).

“Second feels a lot better than fifth when we teed off this morning,” Norris said. “There was about a five-hole stretch there where the wind was blowing sideways with the rain – it was challenging to say the least. Our guys just came through like champs. Indiana played great, but they had a 66 (from Campillo) yesterday afternoon – you take that round out and we would have been right there.

“All our guys played really solid today. It was a battle of emotions and a battle through the conditions. We’ve played in enough weather like this that the guys know what to do and they obviously knew what was at stake today. They did a fantastic job.”

Mitchell Gregson paced the Wildcats throughout the tournament and led the team with an even-par 72 on Tuesday. Gregson finished third overall with a 1-over 217 and notched a team-leading fifth top-10 finish.

Freshmen Kyle Smell and Daniel Wood joined Gregson in the top-10. Wood finished eighth with a 74-73-74—221 (+5) and Smell tied for ninth with a 76-73-73—222 (+6). It was the second top-10 finish of the season for both golfers.

“The whole week they gave us a nice lift,” Norris said of his freshmen. “It’s nice to see those guys get back in the lineup. Daniel has played the individual a couple times but today and this week he showed that he shouldn’t be the individual anymore. Kyle Smell is a guy that has unlimited potential and had a great round today as well.”

Joe Ida contributed the final score for K-State on Tuesday, posting a 4-over 76. He tied for 25th in the tournament with a 227 (+11). Robert Streb ended the tournament 80-73-83—236 (+20) and tied for 50th. K-State’s Kyle Yonke played in the event as an individual and finished 20th with a 9-over 225.

Missouri Tiger Intercollegiate
Club at Old Hawthorne
Columbia, Mo.
Par 72, 7,221 yards

Team Scores: 1. Indiana 294-286-301—881 (+17); 2. Kansas State 298-293-295—886 (+22); 3. Arkansas 291-293-304—888 (+24); 4. Iowa State 307-282-300—889 (+25); 5. Michigan State 300-292-298—890 (+26); 6. Wichita State 292-297-308—897 (+33); 7. Michigan 299-293-307—899 (+35); 8. Washington 310-299-305—914 (+50); 9. San Jose State 298-301-323—922 (+58); T10. Missouri 305-310-317—932 (+68); T10. Xavier 314-304-314—932 (+68).

K-State Individuals: 3. Mitchell Gregson 71-74-72—217; 8. Daniel Wood 74-73-74—221; T9. Kyle Smell 76-73-73—222; *20. Kyle Yonke 76-73-76—225; T25. Joe Ida 77-74-76—227; T50. Robert Streb 80-73-83—236.

UMKC's Taylor, ORU's Carter Collect Weekly Golf Honors

Fr., Overland Park, Kan./Blue Valley NW HS
Taylor receives his first Golfer of the Week honor following a third-place finish at the Branson Creek Invitational last week. His two-round total of 145 (73-72) was his best outing of the year and second top-10 finish this season.

Valley Names Golfers of the Week

This week's Missouri Valley Conference golfers of the week are Missouri State's Amy Phalaljivin and Wichita State's Ryan Spears.

WOMEN
Missouri State's Amy Phalaljivin took third in the Samford University Women's Intercollegiate in Oneonta, Ala. She fired a 69-76-75=220 to pace the Bears, who finished fourth as a team with a three-round 915.

Bari Erais was one of three Bradley women’s golfers to turn in career-low rounds as the Braves finished in a tie for seventh at the Samford Intercollegiate. Erais matched her career best round with a first round 70 and finished in a tie for seventh place. She is the only player in program history with three or more rounds of 70 or better. Senior Whitney Cox carded a career-best 71 in the second round and tied for 17th overall at 230. Freshman Caitlin Deeken fired a season-low 78 in the opening round.

Marisa Milligan, who joined the team in January and is Illinois State’s newest team member, posted back-to-back top-10 finishes in her debut week as a Redbird. At the Rio Verde Collegiate Invitational (March 7-9), Milligan tied for seventh following a three-round-total of 222 (74, 76, 72). Milligan then improved her standing later in the week, taking sixth at the Gainesville Shootout III (March 13-15) at the par-70, 5,907 yard Mark Bostick Golf Course. Milligan shot a 225 (75, 73, 77) while leading ISU to a fourth-place finish as a team.

Drake and UNI competed at the Diablo Grande Invitational, and the Bulldogs tied for fourth with Boston College. Olivia Lansing tied for seventh overall at 85-78-78=241. Molly Schemm led the Panthers this past weekend at the Diablo Grande Intercollegiate, hosted by Drake University in Patterson, Calif., tying for 15th place after firing a score of 247. The sophomore scored an opening round of 87 but continually improved her performance each day. She shot an 84 in the second and recorded a low round of 76 in the third.

Fueled by Top 10 individual performances from Breanne Smith and Kayley Bodine, the Indiana State Sycamores finished fifth at the El Diablo Intercollegiate held at the El Diablo Golf and Country Club, a par-72, 5.654-yard layout. The Sycamores followed up first day rounds of 317 and 331 with a final round score of 324 to complete the tournament with a total of 972 to finish fifth. Individually, Smith rounded out tournament play with a 78 as her total of 231 was good enough to share third place. Smith also carded an opening round 73 and followed that up with an 80 on the tournament's first day of play.

MEN
Wichita State was led by Ryan Spears at the Barona Collegiate Cup this week in Lakeside, Calif. Spears shot a three-round 70-70-68=208 to tie for fourth in the 60-golfer field on the par-72, 7,393-yard layout on the Barona Creek Golf Course. Wichita State took sixth place in the 12-team field.

Missouri State's Jay BcBride was the top Bear finisher at the UALR/First Tee Collegiate in Little Rock, Ark. McBride tied for eighth place on the par-72, 7,271-yard Chenal Country Club, while firing a 79-73-73=225 -- six strokes off medalist pace. The Bears took fifth place in the 15-team field. Meanwhile, Bradley's men's team was at the First Market Bank Intercollegiate as the Braves finished 18th. Creighton's Matt Kouri led the Bluejays to a second-place team finish at the GEICO Intercollegiate this week, taking fourth place individually. Kouri had a 73-68-80=221 to pace the Bluejays. And Drake was also in action last week, as sophomore Nick Shimon tied for 15th to pace the Drake golf team at the Diablo Grande Invitational Tuesday. He shot an 87-75-71=233 to lead the Bulldogs.

K-State golf teams open tourneys

FRESNO, Calif. — The Kansas State men's golf team improved 12 strokes from its first to second round Monday at the Fresno Lexus Classic to sit in 11th place with just 18 holes to play. The Wildcats shot a 295-283-578 (+2) on the par 72, 6,729-yard course at Fort Washington Country Club, leaving them just seven shots back of fifth place going into today's third round action.

"This is a golf course that you need a couple of rounds under your belt," head coach Tim Norris said. "They did a good job of recovering in the afternoon, and hopefully we can keep the momentum going tomorrow and shoot a good score."

San Diego State leads the field after carding a 275-277-552 (-24), leaving themselves a six-stroke cushion heading into today. Long Beach State's Issei Suenaga shot a pair of 67s to go 10-under par, which put him at first individually.

K-State's 12-stroke improvement between rounds was the third best jump on the day. Sacramento State improved 15 strokes from a 307 to a 292, while Boise State made up 14 strokes by shooting a 281 after starting the day with a 295.

Joe Ida led the Wildcats with his score of 3-under par 141 and is currently in a tie for 15th. This marks Ida's third tournament this season with a round of 68 or lower.

Robert Streb shot 71-73-144 (E) to land in a tie for 31st. Streb was K-State's second-best finisher on the day despite being the only Wildcat to shoot a lower opening round score than second round score.

Mitchell Gregson and Daniel Wood are currently tied for 56th. Gregson used a second-round score of 70 to get back to 3-over par on the day, while Wood fired rounds of 75 and 72. Kyle Yonke is just two strokes back at 5-over par 149.

Tuesday's action got underway with a shotgun start at 6:00 a.m. (local time).

Fresno Lexus Classic

Fresno, California

Fort Washington Country Club

Par 72, 6,729 yards

Team Scores

1. San Diego State, 275-277-552 (-24); 2. Texas, 282-276-558 (-18); 3. California, 287-278-565 (-11); 4. TCU, 288-282-570 (-6); 5. Oregon, 286-285-571 (-5); 6. Nevada, 283-289-572 (-4); T7. Portland, 291-285-576 (E); T7. Boise State, 295-281-576 (E); T9. CSU-Northridge, 286-291-577 (+1); T9. Loyola Marymount, 287-290-577 (+1); 11. Kansas State, 295-283-578 (+2); 12. CSU-Bakersfield, 286-293-579 (+3); T13. BYU, 291-289-580 (+4); T13. Pacific, 287-293-580 (+4); 15. Santa Clara, 287-296-583 (+7); 16. Fresno State, 295-293-588 (+12); 17. Long Beach State, 295-294-589 (+13); 18. Idaho, 302-295-597 (+21); 19. Sacramento State, 307-292-599 (+23); 20. Wyoming, 306-309-615 (+39)

K-State Individuals

T15. Joe Ida, 73-68-141 (-3); T31. Robert Streb, 71-73-144 (E); T56. Mitchell Gregson, 77-70-147 (+3); T56. Daniel Wood, 75-72-147 (+3); T73. Kyle Yonke, 76-73-149 (+5)

2008 KGA Championship News

The Kansas Golf Association championship schedule for 2008 is now available. Entries for championship events will be accepted beginning at 9 am on Friday, February 1st. Entries are accepted via online entry, postal mail or hand delivery to the KGA office in Lawrence. The KJGA and KGA Senior Series schedules are not yet available, but will be released as soon as possible. For more information on the 2008 KGA championship schedule, please click here.

2008 KGA Senior Series Schedule Announced

The Kansas Golf Association is pleased to announce the 2008 KGA Senior Series schedule. The 2008 schedule features a record 22 venues. The Senior Series schedule kicks off on May 7th at Meadowbrook Golf & Country Club in Prairie Village. Senior Series members have an opportunity to qualify for the series ending championship to be held at Salina Country Club on September 22-23, 2008. Entries for all Senior Series events will be accepted beginning on February 1, 2008 at 9 am. To see the complete schedule, click here.